I just read what I was doing exactly one year ago today. I had some sick thing going on.. It was so weird to go back and have all those memories flood into my brain. That was a YEAR ago! I now have been updating in a xanga. Although, I've also been slacking at that. This house thing is nuts! Having your own home is crazy difficult. It doesn't help that I get no help. I haven't been on Blogdrive in so long. Everything seems to have changed. It's like this is a completely differant chapter in my life. Makes you realize that even if, at the time, you don't think things are EVER going to change for you, they really do. Most of the time you don't even realize it. You grow up and move on and move out. Friends disappear. Family still stays. New friends appear. Although it helps none to compare them to your past ones. Even though I find myself doing that. I wish Jessica all the best. I really do. But it has become considerablly noticable that we have moved away from each other. Even though she only lives a few blocks away. It makes me sad. She was one of the best friends I had. I feel like I don't really have many friends anymore. Jon Budge, even though I've done nothing but be there for him, does not talk to me anymore. I hung out with Sarah Walters a couple times. That's Brandan's new girlfriend. I hung out with her and Brandan a couple weeks ago when I got my 3rd tattoo. It was like nothing had changed. We goofed off like we had never stopped hangin' out. He's doing well and is happy with this girl. I am very happy for him. Sarah is a nice girl. I've gotten considerablly closer to my sister Kathy. Although some of it may be based on the fact that we bitch about our other sister Jamie a lot.  But it's nice. Jamie never really felt like a sister to me. Kathy does. And it's a wonderful feeling to know you have an older sister you can count on.  I love it!! =)

My weight goes up and down like a yo yo. It's crazy insane. I'm not self distructing as badly as I was. Which is a good thing. I have a family!!! Of sorts.... 3 doggies 6 kitties and 2 guinea piggies. Plus Nick. They are my life. Hellians! but my life. I love them all. I do my best to keep up the house and keep the babies alive. I've gotten much deeper into who I am with my Craft. Thank you to my wonderful Rebecca Wyked!! I love that girl and I swear to god I wish we lived closer together. She's one of the bestest friends I've ever had but she lives in Texas and I live here, in Michigan. It sucks. But we've talked about either Nick and I going there this summer or her coming up here. That would be most wonderful. I would love to pick her brain in person.

I'm currently jobless. Although I have had jobs since I last wrote in here. Hopefully, next week I will have one. It will be at the worst place ever though. WalMart. Feels like in some ways I'm moving forward but in others I'm moving backwards. Let's hope that I can stand working there more then 5 minutes and not walk out again. muahaha!

I don't have much else to say right now. I hope to keep up with my Blogdrive. I want to be able to go back like I did today and read how I've changed and what I've been through. I'd love it if I could transfer what I've written in Xanga over to here but in all honesty that would be too much work.

i don't even know why i still have blogdrive.. i don't come here hardly at all anymore.. i write on myspace all the time now.. i posted that link in a previous entry so i'm not even gonna bother again.. if people want to know they'll ask.. anyway.. i think i'll just hold on to it for random entries! like this!!! =) anyway.. i have to go clean and my stummy is upset...damnit!

wow. i don't write in here much anymore...i've noticed. which is kind of sad because i put a lot of work into it.. kind of. i put more work in to my myspace page.. for those of you who actually read this and want to find out more about me go here: http://www.myspace.com/skarlet_lilly .... there is a lot more stuff on there.. i've contemplated shutting this down but i've spent so much time here at blogdrive.. it would almost be like getting rid of a child.. well, no, no it wouldn't... nevermind me i'm on drugs and i'm a big dork anyway..

so so much has been going on. nick moved into his new house. i've been over there like everyday helping him. Evan is home for a little while, which gives me the biggest happy in the whole world! i'm so glad that he's home. he will never know how much he means to me. my cousin Jesse is going to be here Sunday night until the 22nd which i think is a monday! so that's gonna be fun! we're going to be camping! i'm soo excited. i haven't gone camping in YEARS! i think the last time i went campng was with jackie in like 6th grade.. holy jesus.. that's a long ass time ago!! i've wanted to go camping for forever!

i've been meeting a whole bunch of new people and making friends. I met Nolan on myspace! he goes ot NMU but lives in Illinois during the rest of the time. he's so much fun and i love talking to him. such a nice person.. when he gets up here on like the 23rd we'e gonna hang out! it's gonna be killer!! i'm excited for that too.. i wish that Nick would get out there and make some new friends. maybe him and Nolan will get along.. he just doesn't talk to people that much. he doesn't put himself out there.. like he's afraid to or something. Nick is a nice fellow... he just needs to learn to not rub the things he has in other people's faces. yes, you can be proud of the things you have but most of it his parents have helped him with. a lot of people, including me, don't have hat luxery. i bust my ass to try and gain respect.. i've rarely had things handed to me on a silver fucking platter... ya know?? i've gotten a lot of help from him while i've looked for a job.. WHICH by the way MAY come to an end soon. I had an interview the other day for a new cash advance place comin' into town. the interview went really well. we talked for over a half hour! AND i gave him decorating advice!! haha!!! then like right when i got home his boss called me and she asked me to come back. she said that he was really impressed by me and she wanted to talk with me.. so i went back into town for a 2nd interview! she was like "so you're not working right now anywhere" i was like "no, i've been looking like a mad woman though" she was like "well that's no good. we need to get you back into the work force" so that's kind of a good sign, right?! i really hope i get this job. pay is btwn. 7 and 8$/hr.. but it will be only like 30 hrs/week... so i may keep looking for a 2nd job. should be easy to work two jobs.. cause ifor this one you make your whole monthly schedule in advance so i can give that to another employeer if i can find another job. IF i get this job.. which i hope i do. i need some cash flow damnit! i need to pay off my credit cards and my cell phone and get new insurance on my car... damnit!

yea, i didn't mention that. i got pulled over a few days ago and got a ticket.. i was going 65 and he only gave me a ticket for 5 over so that was nice that he gave me somewhat of a break. he could've held back all together...but oh well.. 5 over is better then 10 right?

but yea...i need to go vacuum and finish my laundry and get a shower and what not.. i gots lots of stuff to do...

okay... sooo.... too much shit goin' on. seriously... i'm sick of it. i'm all sweaty right now. cause i was working out. and i felt like gettin' on the computer.. for some reason. i don't know why... i'm weird... leave me alone! talked to Kathy... she emailed me and asked if i wasn't talking to them for some reason. i told her that it was because i heard she was talkin' shit about me or whatever...i don't care... i said from the beginning... no skin off my back right? it's just more shit to add to the fucking plater...anyway... i have to go shower and to go cell one. try and figure out what is wrong with my phone...